Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
