You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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