I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
