oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
