after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
