We're like a lot better than the average bears
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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