Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
last night I used snow as a chaser
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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