He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
