there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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