My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
