If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The best revenge is premature balding
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
