He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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