im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize