you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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