Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
