Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
