I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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