Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
