Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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