Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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