Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I want her autograph on my taint
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize