he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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