he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
