Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
