i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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