Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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