real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
