Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize