He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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