my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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