i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize