I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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