i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
