How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
