your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
