We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You need a sexual gate keeper
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
