Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize