my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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