I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
