Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
