Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
