Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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