I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
