yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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