Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You smell like stripper and shame
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
