I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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