So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There r osticjed everywhere
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
