i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
