the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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