Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
