my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
