she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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