I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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