Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
