I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
