the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
