New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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