Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize