Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
