? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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