Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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