Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize