that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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