I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
