last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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