I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
