I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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