And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
