JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
